Pansy's gone. Vinnie took her. I don't know why, and I'm worried that it's all an evil plot to get back at Draco. He' already gone to scare Ginny Weasley. Now Pansy? If he succeeds... I just wish I'd had the chance to talk to her. To tell her. What if she

No. I won't think that way. Greg promised me she'd be okay, that they would find her and he never lies - not to me. The boys were right. Vinnie doesn't love us. He wants to hurt us. How can he... why would he want that? Greg has sat down with me and explained the looks Vinnie used to give me in school. What I always viewed with confusion and doubt... well... he was angry with me. He didn't like me. Why did it matter so much that Greg and I were close? I never wanted to intentionally exclude him. He just wasn't Greg. Now he's worried that Vinnie's next step will be to get back at him. My first thought jumped to River... but I'm starting to see it really wouldn't be River who would be the one... the one that Vinnie would use to cause Greg the most pain.

I suppose I should have known it a long time ago. It's not like feelings have changed. They are the same as they were. Only now I have words to describe those feelings. Now we have words to describe them. I've called him my other half since I was small only now I realize exactly what that means. He's part of me. Even when he was away. I think that's why it hurt so much when he was gone - when we were fighting - when I was defending him from...

I sent him a howler. Over Theodore. How on earth he still loves me is beyond me. I was horrible. I don't know how long- I can't even describe what I'm feeling. I just know I feel safe and happy when his arms are around me. He's always made me feel safe. Was it only last weekend when he and I fell asleep saying that we loved one another? It was. We did. We do. Though it's somehow not the same but it is.

I feel complete for the very first time and all I've done is snog him... a lot. Before I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. That suddenly Theo would realize it wasn't me who he should be with. That he'd wake up one morning and tell me it was all a clever prank. I know Greg loves me. I know why he loves me and even when he is clueless and broken I love him. I have nothing to hide from him. The one thing I hide is because it's for his own good. And he can't ever know. Ever. I'll have to mention that to S next time I talk to her.... I haven't talked to her since last weekend. She forgot my owl! I bet she spent all weekend with Vaisey. I never thought about it because we've been so worried about Pansy, but I'll have to owl her sooner rather than later anyway. Greg and I will likely have to go to America. Simone will need to know in case I'm gone for day or two. No more of this popping off without telling anyone. Though, I suppose Mum is still here. I saw her wandering around the house with a strange grin on her face. I think she knows Greg wasn't here just sleeping in my bed as my best friend last night. Not that we did anything other than... well, there were a few things different from how we slept before, but mainly it was just the kissing and the breathing the same air and the... well, it's not like she was able to see where his hand was when I woke up.

He went and saw River today. I felt horrible about it. I don't know how I'll face her. But I'll have to. I can't push him to be with her any more. I can't deny this anymore. Not when it's his hands I want on my skin and his breath I want to share. While he was gone I got thinking about the way we have danced around this for so long. How was it possible that I didn't know until he leaned in to kiss me? He has always been the person I ran to. I have always been the one he most wanted to protect. He matters the most to me.

He came home sooner than I thought he would and was broken. He was so upset. I thought it was because he regretted what we'd almost done and my heart nearly imploded. But it was worse. Raven's grandfather is dying and he finally owled us about it. He was so close to Greg when he was in America. He says that it was because of him that he didn't kill himself leave us- while he was out there and alone. I don't know if there is anything that can be done for Afjc but if there is, then Greg will find it. We will find it.

We will get through this. Pansy will come home, the boys will find Vinnie and make him pay for hurting our family, and Val. We're going to finally be together the way we ought to have been all along.